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2009- wrap up

December 31, 2009

So 2009 signed off and 2010 is beginning!
Like all news channels worth their penny, and every second blogger on the blogosphere, here is my round up of 2009’s key events.

World Wildlife Federation – India has announced three additions to endangered species, viz. Gold, Dal and crude oil while vegetables and Avatar3D in PVR Cinemas came close.

Masks and handkerchiefs made record sales, as the common man finally learnt his lessons in hygiene, thanks to H1N1 epidemic. As far as the average office-goer is concerned, he was for the first time paid to take leave for fever and cold. It is rumored that more people began sneezing in office instead of asking a day off. “When pigs fly” ceased to be an acceptable idiom for “Never ever” after swine fl (ew) u (“he he”).

MJ moonwalked out of this world, leaving Eminem and standup comedians searching for their next target for pedophile jokes.

Olympic committee refused to recognize Obama’s future contribution to world of sports as qualification enough for holding Olympics 2016 in Chicago. Nobel committee begged to differ, saying they wish to encourage more speeches while awarding the Peace prize to the well accomplished US President.

As the virtuous people on earth condemn Tiger(Woods)’s polygamous behavior, the tigers in the jungle are scared that they might also be asked to become monogamous, endangering the already endangered species

In politics, General elections were held in May 2009, and Communists for the first time in a long time did not have to offer support to the ruling party from outside; this caused extreme jubilation in stock market for reasons yet unknown to rational technical analysts in Sensex.

Shibu Soren became Chief Minister of Jharkhand without being an elected member of the legislative assembly for the third time.

As Mr.YSR Reddy crashed into heaven, his son assumed that, being in Congress, he will succeed his father, not knowing that family politics is restricted to the Nehru-Gandhi family in Congress and Mr. Rosaiah took the mantle as CM. For Rosaiah, it was “right place, wrong time” as TRS party’s K Chandrasekhar Rao went on a fast. Journalists were worried that this might end too soon like Karunanidhi’s one day fast which began post breakfast and ended pre lunch.
The 11 day fast created so much pandemonium that the State Govt and Center Govt both announced split of Telengana, then announced “not now”, then confirmed “separation”, then again “not now”…
Well, where were we?

Yeah, we were covering Indian Politics..
Shashi Tharoor created waves by being the cool dude of politics in twitter. Unfortunately, his tweets did not seem too Government like. He actually offered opinions. This was not appreciated by the Central Govt. and “cattle class” comment created furor as MNS party hooligans…err… workers thought it was an insult to “GoMatha”.

And in the entertainment industry, Shiney Ahuja’s maiden film name might have been forgotten while his maid will be remembered for long time now.

Kannada actor Vishnuvardhan passed away peacefully in cardiac arrest, which created much furor in Bangalore.

ARR WON THE OSCAR AWARD FOR SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE and Smile Pinkie went relatively unnoticed.

Susan Boyle became a revelation of sorts, when people actually realized you don’t have to look good to have a great singing voice. Ms.Boyle sang in “UK’s Got Talent” bringing tears in judges’ eyes as they were flummoxed by this impossible combination.

Around the world, once more global warming was taken seriously, in the Copenhagen conference, where all countries asserted their stance on environmental issues -all, except India, where the Minister and the Government took different stances.

It was India’s sign off in style in cricket, as they became #1 in test cricket. Let me just say, as a totally biased cricket hater that too much of anything is not good, and man! We are having too much of cricket all around us.

Deccan chargers however won the IPL and lost the Champions Trophy pathetically causing bookies and supporters confused if they should support them next IPL.

Michael Schumacher got bored of watching F1 and has promised that he will be in the action soon. No one has asked the fans if we got bored of watching Schumacher.

If this article seems biased and outrageous and unfair, sorry, it was not intended to be. It is just my way of looking at the older year so that I can look at the New Year with hope.

Oh! I said hope… Peace Prize – here I come…

Disclaimer: Just for fun. Not intended to take sides or poke fun at any of the names below.
Oh let us just say that all the characters, incidents and locations in this article are fictitious. Any resemblance to real people, incidents and locations is entirely coincidental.

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6 Comments
  1. ‘Wow’.. Seeing the year 2009 through your eyes was a thoughtful experience.. In midst of tricky and humorous words you have so truly portrayed the sad state of world affairs.. Sometimes I ponder, as a child I used to see only the innocent side of the world.. the world has indeed lost its innocence..

  2. LOL!! Good one, Shuba [:D]

  3. Sriram R permalink

    Peace prize ellaam ippo tharra maattaanga….
    adhukku neraiyyyyya aathu aathu nu aathanum…. soRpozhiva sonnen 😛

  4. Anonymous permalink

    @Satyakam
    The world never had innocence to lose it You’ve just become wiser.

  5. lata permalink

    Hey good writing Shuba, as usual.. [:)]

  6. Funny… Great post… 🙂

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