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Here ends the year

December 19, 2008

Countdown to 2008 begins and here we are, rehashing what happened over the year.

What happened this year is different from what happened last year and what will happen the next year, but then 2008 will stand in our memories for several reasons..

Sensex started with a huge smile touching 21000 nearly and everyone wished a happy new year with smiles. The year end sees sensex half what it was and Nifty nowhere near recovery. Dow Jones is down too. Traders and Brokers have been asking their employees to take a voluntary retirement while they go on a fishing holiday.

Humpty Dumpty had to fall and roll and roll. Slowly rumbles were heard, not only in India, but also in the US, the Europe, Asia and in time drove Iceland to bankruptcy. Lehman Brothers, Merrill Lynch have been laid R.I.P. while Morgan Stanley and Goldman Sachs became banks. What was once Wall Street has become a crashed wall street. GM and Chrysler are wondering if euthanasia will be given or T.A.R.P panacea will be administered. Mr. Bernanke is said to be talking to US Scientists for a clone to handle the recession while he goes on a long due fishing holiday with the stock brokers.

Handful of terrorists shot down anything that moved in Mumbai and thus our dear own Ramu gets a new plot with the blessings of the CM of Maharashtra. Indian Govt. claims to have no idea on this attacks  and Asif Zardari says Pakistan has nothing to do with this, meanwhile America, Russia and British Virgin Islands say that they had information 3 years ago on this incident.

Terrorism seemed to be the fad word from the year beginning with the brutal killing of Bhutto, which atlast ended Pervez’s dilemma between President Musharraf or General Musharraf, answer being neither.

Chennai is flooded for 3 days and once again the strength of drainage system in the city is questioned, post floods. Chennai residents are contemplating on buying boats or rafts and some citizen groups have asked Chennai to be redesigned like Venice. Meanwhile the CM has asked for time till the new Secretariat complex is built so that he can have a look at the city’s drainage system.

Back to the world news, the economic crisis which was till then called sub prime crisis had reached its prime and henceforth shall be known as recession or global meltdown or financial crisis.

As the automobile companies wait for their oxygen masks, several lay offs happen all over the US and Bangalored jobs are being eyed greedily, leading to panic reactions all over Indian middle class  houses,. It is reported that software engineer sons’ mothers have began to buy economic times and business standard to understand the subprime crisis “shaniyan”(devil in Tamil) which seems to threaten their sons’ marketability in the marriage bazaar.

It is also reported that over the year, demand for everything has fallen except Blood pressure tablets and “Prozac” and manufacturing industry is teetering. Ashok Leyland employees have been asked to work only 3 days a week and much to the wonder of the author, this has caused concern to the employees.

As stocks tumble and jobs disappear, cost cutting causes companies to replace cafetaria facilities with carrom boards asking employees to play when they want a break. (Apparently, cost of buying carrom board is much cheaper than buying coffee powder for one day for one floor of employees in an average IT Firm)

Author , as a batch of 2009 MBA student, also witnessed concerns all over the country from companies, who finally woke up to the fact that they might actually not need MBAs at all.

Beating all odds, the batch of 2009 discovers certain companies kind enough to offer jobs to MBAs, “Ahem.. would you like to take the salary of a software engineer (YES!) and work ..ahem.. as a call center executive (YES! YES!)”

* In brackets the eager responses of the MBAs

And then the good news!

Chandrayaan mission was successfully launched , which was noted with interest by ISRO scientists and the President and Ms.Parvathy Omanakuttan. The mission costed US$ 80 million and probably could have saved Lehman Brothers from fall,mumbles Dick Fuld.

Ms. Parvathy has won the Miss World runner up, thus ending the shame of India’s till-date discontinued series of World beauties.  Director Shankar has invited Parvathy to act in his next movie on a man from Koyambedu vegetable market ending recession single handedly. Parvathy will be the wholesale flower seller in the market. But Parvathy is stuck between options with Mr. Ramu inviting her for an item number in his new movie “Dekhna Mana Hai- a saga of Mumbai’s black day” and Mr. Aditya Chopra inviting her to star with SRK for his latest movie “Main Jawan Hoon Na”

In cricket, Australia seems to have fared poorer than India in 2008 and Anil Kumble retired.(Uh Oh! I dont know if it is good news or bad) . IPL made its premiere and cheerleaders and Preity Zinta took the second page after Harbhajan slapped Sreesanth, which made the top news in the cricketing world.

Beijing Olympics was a roaring success, with Usain Bolt winning the award for the “fastest living thing in the world”. Guiness Book of World Records are reported to have invited him to compete with the Cheetah or Peregrine Falcon. Michael Phelps has been invited to compete for the same with the Dolphin. (It is rumoured that Dolphins lost pathetically in the trials)

Indians managed 1 Gold and 2 Bronze, ranked 50 out of 57 participating countries and hence all previous failures of sports have been forgotten till the next Olympics medal tally comes out.

Inspite of the brave efforts of McCain, Palin and Clinton and not to forget dear old George, Obama(not Osama! Ha ha! all talk shows in America have this joke, so shall we!) becomes the President elect of the United States. It is reported that Americans are broken hearted that Georgie couldn’t stand in the election for a third term! Apparently, Iraqis decided to give farewell before the Americans and a party in Iraq ended in confusion as a reporter mistook the  “Shoe the President” game for the originally planned “Pin the Donkey” game.

As Bush bids adieu to the White House to go back to his ranch, after being the sole source of American (infact world) entertainment for the past 8 years, he hands over to Obama Iraq war, Osama at loose, Indo Pak problems (where Uncle Sam is the real uncle to two kids), Wall street crash, crumbling auto industry and (oh! before we forget!) recession.

Hope and Change! Here we come!

***The stories might be a little more imaginative than reality and should be taken as an expression of creative writing

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5 Comments
  1. Shankar permalink

    Hey sooper work by sooper shuba !!!

    Shankar

  2. Ganesh permalink

    Hey!!

    Good Article. I little more sarcasm and irony would have made it funnier. But enjoyed reading it.

    G

  3. lata permalink

    Hey hi Tamizh ponnu!!!!
    I jus browsed to find sum interstin topics to read and finally I got it… yur blogs are too good n interstin. I had a good time. keep it up…!!!

    lata

  4. Nirvana permalink

    Did you jot down these points from memory? If so, I must say impressive

  5. Shuba permalink

    Oh..Google keeps helping

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