The joke that is the Indian Television

I had stopped watching television almost completely starting with my stay in Pune in a house with friends doing the talking instead of TV, then in MBA where laptop took up all my time and then here in Bangalore, as I started a new chapter of life, living in a huge house without tv.

Now that my husband is has moved in from Pune to Bangalore, he brought in his tv habit to the house. Not complaining, but it makes me aware of how much I had missed in the evolution of Indian television channels.
TV shows used to be the education media, long long ago… even before Mile Sur original..Then television became a mini cinema hall with movies occupying almost every minute. Then came in serials, the tv substitutes for movies.
Now people began complaining that the tv had ceased to reflect the real life.
So it began “Crorepati”,”Big Boss”,”Sach ka Saamna” , “pati patni and woh” and the types – to glorify the common man – also known as ” a flop celebrity”.
Then came the mother of all reality shows -”Rakhi Ka Swayamvar”, men wooing the irresistible bride Rakhi Sawant, to live in palaces for weeks, trying to get her hand in marriage, bringing their parents, ex-wives and ex girlfriends, as Rakhi blushed and asked “Kya aap mera khayal rakhenge, zindagi bar?” “Kya aap mujhe sach mein chahte hain?” “Kya aapne pyar mein kabhi kisiko dhoka dia hai?” “Main ek aam bharateeya naari banna chahti hoon” and so on so forth.
Though it fizzed out with Rakhi “shockingly” refusing to marry any of the selected guys after getting engaged, it would have been hypothetically scary to see a psycopath possibly win the competition.

Now Rahul Mahajan (who? Pramod Mahajan’s son? Who? the murdered BJP leader Pramod Mahajan) is posing as the eligible bachelor waiting to be wooed by 16 women, who have to marry this eligible divorcee with their honesty, genuineness and sense of humour
Rare qualities that are good enough for Rahul Mahajan’s noble love seeking heart!

And there will be viewers who will sob with the rejected girls, cheer for the selected girls – worry not ! Rahul has promised to definitely marry the girl he chooses!!

and this is how the title of the post came by!!

Phir mile sur- rather “besur”

So now you know what my stand is on the multi starrer rendition of the 20 year old “Mile sur tumhara”.
I actually will start with the good thing about “phir mile”. People have started listening to the old rendition more..

To make things worse, I first saw the Deepika Padukone clip, where she croons under rain in a rather budgeted cloth. Simply put, the verdict is “ROTFL!”

Places where I LOL-d
1)Amitabh still thinks his baritone voice is enough to make any line shayari
2)Priyanka Chopra makes an entrance
3)Aamir Khan goes Ae Kya Bolti Tu on a song that I can associate with my nation’s pride
4)Vikram and Surya sing the tamil version without even straining their lips, which the veritable Balamurali Krishna had rendered in original .
5)Shahid and Ranbir Kapoor make their appearance – I do not wish to call it anything else

The only touchy part was also the only part with the spirit of original in it – the part where hearing challenged kids act out the words, with Salman Khan.
And also, Shobana dance with Shaimak, the classical piece by Anoushka, Santoor Shivram Sharma and few other , were the clips looked sober and non-filmy!!

Almost everyone, even some of the classical musicians looked artificial and out of place. Just trying to appear their cute and naughty best, as if they didn’t realise what they were singing about.

The best part of original used to be when the faceless plenty became our map and the flag. The languages which sounded in the original were not just 3 popular movie industries, but others whose words I had never heard otherwise too.

I dont think we liked the original video for its star appeal!!

May this video go to place where all careless sequels go to after ignominy!

As always written after a debatable topic,this is my personal opinion and mine only!

2009- wrap up

So 2009 signed off and 2010 is beginning!
Like all news channels worth their penny, and every second blogger on the blogosphere, here is my round up of 2009’s key events.

World Wildlife Federation – India has announced three additions to endangered species, viz. Gold, Dal and crude oil while vegetables and Avatar3D in PVR Cinemas came close.

Masks and handkerchiefs made record sales, as the common man finally learnt his lessons in hygiene, thanks to H1N1 epidemic. As far as the average office-goer is concerned, he was for the first time paid to take leave for fever and cold. It is rumored that more people began sneezing in office instead of asking a day off. “When pigs fly” ceased to be an acceptable idiom for “Never ever” after swine fl (ew) u (“he he”).

MJ moonwalked out of this world, leaving Eminem and standup comedians searching for their next target for pedophile jokes.

Olympic committee refused to recognize Obama’s future contribution to world of sports as qualification enough for holding Olympics 2016 in Chicago. Nobel committee begged to differ, saying they wish to encourage more speeches while awarding the Peace prize to the well accomplished US President.

As the virtuous people on earth condemn Tiger(Woods)’s polygamous behavior, the tigers in the jungle are scared that they might also be asked to become monogamous, endangering the already endangered species

In politics, General elections were held in May 2009, and Communists for the first time in a long time did not have to offer support to the ruling party from outside; this caused extreme jubilation in stock market for reasons yet unknown to rational technical analysts in Sensex.

Shibu Soren became Chief Minister of Jharkhand without being an elected member of the legislative assembly for the third time.

As Mr.YSR Reddy crashed into heaven, his son assumed that, being in Congress, he will succeed his father, not knowing that family politics is restricted to the Nehru-Gandhi family in Congress and Mr. Rosaiah took the mantle as CM. For Rosaiah, it was “right place, wrong time” as TRS party’s K Chandrasekhar Rao went on a fast. Journalists were worried that this might end too soon like Karunanidhi’s one day fast which began post breakfast and ended pre lunch.
The 11 day fast created so much pandemonium that the State Govt and Center Govt both announced split of Telengana, then announced “not now”, then confirmed “separation”, then again “not now”…
Well, where were we?

Yeah, we were covering Indian Politics..
Shashi Tharoor created waves by being the cool dude of politics in twitter. Unfortunately, his tweets did not seem too Government like. He actually offered opinions. This was not appreciated by the Central Govt. and “cattle class” comment created furor as MNS party hooligans…err… workers thought it was an insult to “GoMatha”.

And in the entertainment industry, Shiney Ahuja’s maiden film name might have been forgotten while his maid will be remembered for long time now.

Kannada actor Vishnuvardhan passed away peacefully in cardiac arrest, which created much furor in Bangalore.

ARR WON THE OSCAR AWARD FOR SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE and Smile Pinkie went relatively unnoticed.

Susan Boyle became a revelation of sorts, when people actually realized you don’t have to look good to have a great singing voice. Ms.Boyle sang in “UK’s Got Talent” bringing tears in judges’ eyes as they were flummoxed by this impossible combination.

Around the world, once more global warming was taken seriously, in the Copenhagen conference, where all countries asserted their stance on environmental issues -all, except India, where the Minister and the Government took different stances.

It was India’s sign off in style in cricket, as they became #1 in test cricket. Let me just say, as a totally biased cricket hater that too much of anything is not good, and man! We are having too much of cricket all around us.

Deccan chargers however won the IPL and lost the Champions Trophy pathetically causing bookies and supporters confused if they should support them next IPL.

Michael Schumacher got bored of watching F1 and has promised that he will be in the action soon. No one has asked the fans if we got bored of watching Schumacher.

If this article seems biased and outrageous and unfair, sorry, it was not intended to be. It is just my way of looking at the older year so that I can look at the New Year with hope.

Oh! I said hope… Peace Prize – here I come…

Disclaimer: Just for fun. Not intended to take sides or poke fun at any of the names below.
Oh let us just say that all the characters, incidents and locations in this article are fictitious. Any resemblance to real people, incidents and locations is entirely coincidental.

Randomly

I used to write good posts in my blog;

Then I began caring for others’ opinion

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I am in a city that supposedly is the most metropolitan non metro.

I am from a city that is most non metropolitan among metros (supposedly).

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I like my work; especially the part where I get my salary credited.

 

p.s. seriously that is intended as a joke

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World makes sense only to two people – the insane and the infants

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My hubby calls such small meaningless notes vignettes ; I suspect he is wrong!!

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Read a piece of literature that was extremely touching – of genre known as flash fiction

“For sale- Baby shoes, never worn”

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How to write a good blog post – not an expert!

There are things that I am proud of- but not blogging so long is definitely not on the list. I am not commenting on whether it was lack of time, idea or willingness.

Anyway, I have been reading other blogs- good sensible ones, funny ones and definitely interesting ones. Let us forgive the bad ones and forget them – for we do not where we belong.

So, not to meander, here goes what I gather, makes a good post.

Story- There should be a point to what you write. It may not be funny, it may not be full of big words, it may not be something that everyone would want to know about, but “It should have a reason to be written as a  post that others should read”. Please no rantings about how unjust the world is, or something like that! (Even that could be written with a point)

Learning #1 This blog from time to time has pointless posts.

How the story is told – I am not saying that blogging is for the “Doyens of the literary world” (Who uses the word doyen anyway, except magazines and newspapers to describe an old filmstar/singer/dancer/someone whom they dont know what to call”!!!)  However, do not write as if you are writing  grocery list. Put some thought into how words are arranged, how good language can make it look smarter and more eye catching, and basically how spelling and grammar match.

When the story telling stops - Yes, you have got that topic to write about that whole world would want to know. Great! But there is only so much that the topic can be interesting. Review of the latest movie that you watched first day first show? – Wow. But dont give me the screenplay, buddy!

Now, if you have read till the end, good,let me know where this blog ranks!

Disclaimer: As the title claims, I am no expert and do not claim that this post is serious guidance to aspiring bloggers..

The randomest scribbling ever..

Still groggy with the morning blues, I picked up a hot steamy cup of coffee. The steam in the coffee seemed to convey a message. I watched.

First it looked like a heart. Romance….I wondered. Then it shaped as X. I assumed it meant “wrong answer”.

Then it looked like a flight about to take off. Airport!! X again.

Then there the damnd flight  was there again and it was taking off and moving at the same time. Runway!! There was a smiley

Then I wondered if heart is linked to runway in anyway. Then it showed a ring, and then quickly a heart..

Marriage? X

Engagement?  X-(

Lovers? X

Bride? Runway bride? Runaway bride? The steam smiled and disappeared Poof!

I stared into the “once upon a time hot” coffee..

Damn! Early morning dumb charades with the coffee was so pathetic .Worst part is the coffee goes cold ..before you can do the acting..

P.S. I woke up for the third day at 6 and came to office at 10 after keeping up till 1 the previous night and having worked my a$$ off till 9 pm.. I decided it was time to blog or I will go mad.

This is the sad effect..

P.P.S. Actually there is no excuse for such posts

Learning to Unlearn

We think that life in general, and especially education, is full of lessons to learn. I am learning it is more important to look for lessons to unlearn.

In my case, for example, I learned 1+1=2 first. Then I found ways of proving 1=2(But there is a catch).

I learned that India is one country first. Then I realised that, for most of us, it doesn’t matter, our streets, cities and states, castes and religions bind us better than the weak thread called nation does.

I studied in school first that man is a social animal. Then I have come to accept that man is just animal.

First I was told that we should be positive always. Later I saw that a healthy dose of cynicism helps.

First I thought that the answer to the question, “Who am I” was my name and parents name and address. Then I realised that it is a question that is not so simple to answer.

First I thought that when someone is angry with you, you give way to them because they are powerful. Then I decided that when someone is angry with you, you give way to them because they are weak.

I used to think that most of your knowledge comes from books. Then I corrected myself that books are full of others’ life lessons. But your own lessons are self learnt and come in the form of life.

First I thought that tests are after you learn your lessons. Then I came to know that lessons after you take your tests.

First I believed that what I am is because of who I am with. Then I also realised that who I am with is also because of what I have decided to be.

First I felt that freedom means having no rules. Then I was to learn that from structure comes freedom and what binds you will liberate you.

First I believed that degree is to enable you get a job. Later I knew that college has lessons other than the books and results other than the job.

First I thought that all the lessons I have learnt so far has filled me with wisdom. Now I am learning that I am to empty my cup if I have to learn something that all.

GMail is too personal to share and more about Google

GMail is too personal to share

I got this statement from a friend when talking about sharing mail password with her brother, and implicitly stated in several conversations with friends. That is where this post began.

Great Indian Divide

This is a topic I have been arguing both sides of. I am clearly aware of the two sides and I have been to a great extent balanced and fair about what I consider as my opinion in this matter.

This is about the so called Northie- Southie divide. One of my acquaintances in the social networking sites posted a message that goes something like this ” My name is not spelled A  B S HU, S U BA, S H U BA.. I am spelled S H U BA. SOmething that southies cant understand”

I get very pissed off when someone misspells me purposefully and annoyed if it is by chance. I leave no opportunity to correct them . Yet I do not attribute race/ region/ colour as a reason for their mistake. Why would I? or Why would anyone do that?

This is not a personal attack against the person. I have no judgement on why (s)he decided to generalise and put a colour to this based on region.

But I see it in pan Indian crowds. Many people think whatever issues they have with North, West, East and South Indian people, in short with people of other regions, is because of the regional differences and not personal differences.

Everything goes like ” you Southies always this ; You Northies are always that.. “

I am neutral. I neither deny nor agree to any of this. But my question is – does it matter if Southies/Northies/ Gujjus/Maharashtrians/etc.. as a whole bunch are tuned in a particular manner, (whether that is a true generalisation or not is another thing altogether) ?

After all, we are dealing with individuals.  What help is a negative bias towards a person, when you are trying to collaborate? At least I feel it doesn’t help at all.  We all have our own rich heritage, culture and lineage to be proud of. And of course, we have to be proud of what we are and where we come from. When you take it to the level of thought that goes “Only my culture is so rich and superior. The other culture has nothing good to admire about and is full of ridiculousness”, you are probably pushing it too far to be called rational.

I have felt that lesser our preconceived notions on how things are going to be, better it is to work  in that situation. You have gone to another city to work/study/tour.. How can we pre-decide “all south indians speak accented english? all north indians are dominating and noisy” and still think we will make friends with the other side?

I think it is time we realise we are all humans after all; later comes the Indo- Pak, North-South,Hindu-Muslim-Sikh-Christian-etc divides. It is rather sad to see that as civilisation progresses, we still regress on trivial matters as region of birth.

P.S. I have generalised at times and I felt like an idiot later reflecting on that. Just an honest acceptance of human weakness.

Musings on a monday morning headlines

Several things are happening in the outer world.

Market is rallying in the wake of general election results, Congress getting re-elected with out the necessity of the “Left” support. Vindication of Left seems to have brought joy to the corporates who look at it as a chance to grow uninhibited for five years. When market rallies thus, everything else will begin to appear trivial.

Let us still hope for over all growth and global revival of economies.

LTTE has been defeated and the war of 25 years has come to an end. Of course, I appreciate that there will be lesser bloodshed and mindless killing in the beautiful country but as an external neutral observer, I wonder if something can be done to ensure that the peaceful co existence of Tamils and Srilankans will be ensured. Let it not become a barbaric survival of the winner.

I just found out that the new parliament has 226 MPs less than 50 years of age but  also 150 new MPs have criminal record, 72 of them having “serious” criminal record. Point to ponder..

Meanwhile, Chiru’s defeat has caused a fan to commit suicide. Let us pray that the followers of Left and other defeated parties stay in their senses and keep their valuable lives with them. No person is worth laying down your life for in these days. Especially not for an election defeat. Sad..

Praying that market’s wishes come true and world  keeps being a happy place..and that in this recessionist times, let the job market begin its rally please..

And among other good things to be happy for – Kuwait votes for women MPs for the first time. Progress is made in such small steps.

BTW…this is my 100th post in wordpress…Hurray!